The
dreaded (especially when I am suppose to be having a "day off") phone call from my Farmer.......
"Can you go (whatever it is he needs done) for me? I'm doing (whatever he
is doing) and (whatever needs done) needs done now."
He does usually
give me a choice.
"If you don't want to do that, you can come take
over (whatever he is doing) and I'll go do (whatever he needs
done)".
Ummmm....ok.
I'm thankful for getting a
choice, but some of the time neither job is something I am completely comfortable
doing. My first reaction when I get this call is, Sure! I can do
that. (yes, I have been diagnosed as a people pleaser). Then as he gives me directions, I am thinking....oh no, I
don't think I can do that (yes, also diagnosed as lacking confidence). Of course I don't say this out loud.
(I have to live up to my "front" that I can do anything). One
thing I am fortunate for, is that my Farmer is pretty good at giving me step by
step instructions. (as long as he is in the right mood, otherwise
instructions can be pretty brief.) It does make me feel really good that my Farmer has enough
confidence in me to ask me to do (whatever needs done), especially when I don't
share his confidence. I cant let him down (or mess up his illusion that I
know what I'm doing) so I take off to do (whatever job that needs
done.....now). As I am doing the needed job, my Farmers words
of instructions are running thru my head along with my words of I don't think I
can do this, making it take me 10 times longer to get the job done then it should. When
I do finally complete (whatever the job is that needs done), I feel
so dang GOOD about myself! What an AWESOME feeling! Now I DO have
the confidence that I can to do anything! Well.....until my Farmer shows up
and tells me I did it wrong. Honestly, that really doesn't happen too often. Otherwise, as he has learned, I will not be available the
next time he calls and needs that "job" done "now".
And yes, that is Living the Life.....the Farm Life that is.
