Crap, Bam, Plop, He's Out......

I did it!  Another first!  I pulled my first baby calf all by myself! With my bare hands! Well, I did have some gloves on and momma cow did helped, a little.   Here's the (long) story.......

At our "just before dark" check, we found a cow that was starting into labor but still a ways off. She had wandered away from the rest of the herd and found a small bare knob. Bare ground is good. However it was a very small "isle", surrounded by snow, and had a creek close by. Bad place to have a calf. Deep snow all around, no level ground, and a creek less than 10 feet away are 3 strikes again a new born calf trying to get up after he is born. My Farmer and his most trustworthy and helpful furry companion, Cooper, after some persuasion, got her off of her "high and dry" knob and we pushed her back to the feedlot to a better spot to calve.  Figuring all is right for the evening, back home we go so my Farmer can get some sleep before his 3am check, figuring I will wake him if needed on my watch. When I go back out to check things, I find that the cow has returned to the knob. She is standing up there on her "high and dry" knob like she is King Queen of the Hill and very proud. It actually strikes me as kind of funny. She still has not calved.  There is no way I can get her off the knob and to a better spot by myself, (remember I may talk big, but really I am a tad bit afraid of the cows, especially the ones in labor.  They tend to have an attitude.)  I decided to give her some time and hope for the best, and check on her again in a bit.  When I go back out, I find her laying down, still on the knob. She has pushed the calf's head and front legs out. However, she can't push anymore because her head and back are down hill and with the calf part way out, she is pretty much immobile. Another reason the knob was not a good place to calve.  (But she wouldn't listen to her Farmer now would she.)  She's in trouble and needs help. I phone my Farmer, but it goes to voice mail. Dang it! I should have put his phone by his head!  Ok...this calf needs to come out NOW. His head and tongue is swollen so I know he's been there for awhile. Crap! What do I do?  I hear my Farmer's voice in my head say "well just grab a hold of his legs and pull".  Now I have seen him do this many times, and I have been there to help pull.  It's always a tough pull for him, so how am I gonna do it by myself?  Now, my fear factor is setting in. Can I do this and can the cow get at me. With the position she is in, there is no way she can hurt me so I've got to try.  I grab ahold of his legs and pull.  He's a slippery, slimy, BIG, little guy and he's pretty stuck!   I'm not strong enough to pull him.  Double dang. I continue to pull and will him out, starting to get frustrated,(and I guess I was very much panicking at this point, as I will point out later) and then momma pushes!   And BAM!  He comes out half way! Holy shit! Then my phone rings. It's my Farmer. And calmly he says "Whats up Shirl?" I can't believe he's so calm! I have a crisis here!  Calmly, I'm sure, I tell him I need help. The cow is down on her back and she can't push the calf out.  He's on his way, he says. Well he better frickin' hurry!
I know I have to finish getting the calf out. I can do this I tell myself. So I pull some more, yelling at momma to push and yelling at baby to come and then PLOP! Just like that he plops out. Yes!!! We did it!  I clean out his month and nostrils. He's breathing and alive. Hallelujah! What an adrenaline rush! I can not get momma up but my Farmer gets her up when he (finally) arrives. (I shouldnt be so hard on my Farmer.  He really did come to my rescue in good time.)
Both momma and baby are alive. So awesome. If I would have waited another hour, the story would have been different. They both would have died. Yep, I saved the day...well night.....I did have a little help....but I'm still CLAIMING IT!
After we got back to the house, my Farmer checked his voice mail. Evidently, when I called him I forgot to hang up and you can hear me yelling or "willing" the baby to come out.  Sounds like maybe I was in a bit of a panic mode. This little "recording" really was funny.  He suggested that I put it on my blog.  Really?!?!  I don't want to embarress myself.  Its ok to laugh at him but not me. 😉
My Farmer took the pair to the corral to keep on eye on them.  Here are some pictures.  You can still see the mud on the side of momma cow, and the baby's head and front legs are still a bit swollen.   Momma and baby are both doing fine.

The other wonderful thing to come out of this situation..........I get a new pair of gloves!  There is no way I am putting those gloves back on.  Way to gross!  And if you know me, you know that new gloves make me very, very happy.  And that really is... Livin' the life, the Farm Life that is.........